TBU# 40 How to find Tranquility in the Turbulence

Episode 40 March 05, 2024 00:35:21
TBU# 40 How to find Tranquility in the Turbulence
Two Booked Up
TBU# 40 How to find Tranquility in the Turbulence

Mar 05 2024 | 00:35:21

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Hosted By

Rowena Mabbott Shelley Tonkin Smith

Show Notes

Title: TBU#40: How to find tranquillity in the turbulence

Artwork Title: How to find tranquillity in the turbulence 

 

It’s the first book for 2024, and Shelley and Rowena are excited to be talking about their top takeaways from the book Tranquility by Tuesday by time management guru Laura Vanderkam. 

Tranquillity is a beautiful notion and very appealing to many, especially amid the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life —especially on an average Tuesday!

The book has some excellent tactics for calming the chaos without having to escape the realities of life, but rather to build a resilient schedule that’ll handle all the unpredictabilities that come our way.

Shelley and Rowena highlight their favourites of Laura’s nine rules, so if you’re looking for more tranquillity in life, be sure to join Shelley and Rowena for this episode.

 

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Book Links Mentioned 

Connect with us:

Find us online at twobookedup.com and keep in touch with Two Booked Up via email by signing up for the Two Booked Up Bookclub and receive your FREE ‘Read More in ‘24’ Book checklist.

Connect with Rowena @rowenamabbott on IG and at rowenamabbott.com. You can also get Rowena’s FREE e-books, The A to Z of Career and Life Confidence and The Criteria List here.

Connect with Shelley on LinkedIn at Shelley Tonkin Smith. Her copywriting business is at shelleysmithcreative.com, and her writing and other musings are at shelleytonkinsmith.com.

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Episode Transcript

TBU Episode 40 [00:00:00] Shelley: Hello, you're listening to Two Booked Up. I'm Shelley Tonkin Smith here with my co host and biz buddy Rowena Mabbott, and today we're going to be talking about our top takeaways from a book called Tranquility by Tuesday by time management guru Laura Vanderkam. So hi, Rowena, how does a little bit of tranquility sound to you today? A day that just happens to be Tuesday as we record. [00:00:28] Rowena: Hello, Shelley. Ah, tranquility. What a lovely word and a lovely notion, especially amid the hustle and bustle of day to day life. [00:00:37] Shelley: Yeah, so this book, I really enjoyed because it has some excellent tactics for calming the chaos without having to escape the realities of life. It's very realistic, and Laura's idea is to rather build for yourself a resilient schedule that'll handle all the unpredictabilities that are going to come our way. So if that sounds like your jam, keep listening. [00:01:03] Rowena: We will highlight our favourites of Laura's nine rules, so if you're looking for more tranquility in life, make sure you stay tuned. [00:01:10] Shelley: Welcome to Two Booked Up! I'm Shelley Tonkin Smith [00:01:17] Rowena: And I'm Rowena Mabbott. We're two well read best friends. [00:01:21] Shelley: and now you are an honorary member of our book club. We're going to fast forward you to the mind blown and mic drop parts of those business and personal development books that are probably on your must read list. [00:01:37] Rowena: Because, as multi passionate, busy working parents, we know how hard it is to find time to read. But, we also know how much you love learning, growing and making a difference in the world. [00:01:49] Shelley: So treat yourself to a bit of bookish conversation, whether you've read the book or not. [00:01:55] Rowena: With your two friends on Two Booked Up. [00:01:58] Tranquility by Tuesday Synopsis [00:01:58] Rowena: So, in Tranquility by Tuesday, Laura Vanderkam provides nine rules or insights to help those of us who are in, let's call it, the busy season of life, and perhaps those of us who find our 168 hours per week, which is another book Laura's written, are a little intense and everything is moving too fast. So her 168 hours book is It's a classic in the time management world, but the nine rules in Tranquility by Tuesday are designed to help life feel more manageable. So it's less about time management and more about finding the joy. Because yeah, that's the other good thing about Tranquility by Tuesday, it's designed to help you make life feel more joyful. [00:02:46] Shelley: And Laura Vanderkam really posts this question. Do you find yourself hoping that someday life will be less hectic? And of course, many of us do. But the problem is that in the middle of all that hecticness and busyness, we can't find the time to do the things we really want to do, the things that matter, and life ends up feeling both boring, like the same old thing, different day kind of vibe. As well as feeling chaotic and rushed. So like this panic mode. So we're in this kind of double funk. And we don't want to be there, right? So Laura Vanderkam says that we don't have to be in that place. It doesn't have to be this way. And in Tranquility by Tuesday, she lays it out straight. She gives nine very direct and very practical, sometimes even obvious sounding rules that she believes will bring you joy, nourishment, and fulfillment in your life. And really, that package of joy, nourishment, and fulfillment can be summed up as tranquility. And I've got to say, I'm here for it. Sign me up. [00:04:02] Rowena: Uh, yes, Shelley, I remember you telling me at the beginning of the year that you wanted to feel calmer because you felt you were in quite a chaotic time. And I think that is also a key part of Laura's premise here. The reality is that life is unpredictable. Unfortunately, the world will be chaotic, but by designing a resilient schedule, we can calm that chaos in our lives, find tranquility. and find the time to do more of the things that matter. Which is pertinent to a slight shift we're planning for the Two Booked Up Podcast. Right, Shelley? [00:04:38] Two Booked Up Podcast Plans [00:04:38] Shelley: So yeah, just to bring you in on Rowena and my thinking with the Two Booked Up Podcast, many of our listeners have shared with us that they struggle to find the time to read. And as two multi passionate women with packed schedules. We totally understand that struggle. We're the Two Booked Up Podcast. So as in T W O, the number, but we also know how easy it is to get too booked up in our diaries. So like T O O, and we're kind of playing with that double meaning there and really just empathizing with the busyness of life [00:05:15] Rowena: and of course, we also know there is a moment where maybe you, like us, realise there are too many books to read. And yet, Shelley and I, we both love to read. We wear our well read badges with pride. And so, we realise that's where we can help you. Think of us as your well read best friends. And through this podcast, we'll help lead the conversation and share our takeaways about the books and ideas that have been most valuable in our businesses and our day to day lives. [00:05:49] Shelley: Yeah, so if you love to read, but you don't always have the time, you're in the right place. What we're going to do is we will feature one book in each episode and highlight one of our best, most life changing, or at least most aha worthy takeaways for you. [00:06:08] Rowena: Yeah, exactly. And so we're going to highlight one each. So there's one book, but we'll each have one takeaway. So that's you might listen to the episode and think, Oh, this sounds amazing. And after you've listened, you go, I want to get this book and dive deeper into this topic. Fantastic. You might also decide you want to follow the author on their social platforms. Or, and we won't tell anyone, it can be our secret, maybe you'll just get the right amount of inspiration from our show and you'll be walking off with a spring in your step. And honestly, if that's the case, we'll be thrilled. [00:06:42] Shelley: Oh yes, we'll be totally delighted and honestly, we'd be honoured if you'd come to think of us as these well read best friends who recommend the best books and just fast forward you to all the good bits of, of all those so called must read books that are out there, but we're also going to feature a few lesser known books and some self published books. So our mission is to find the best insights from the books that we read, So really that you can live your best life, do your best work. [00:07:13] Rowena: Exactly. Isn't that the goal for all of us to live our best life and do our best work? And honestly, in some ways it probably is a bit of a lofty goal, but it is also an important one. So our guess is that if you're listening to this show, you're probably doing a lot of serving others, perhaps through parenting or caring for relatives, volunteering, doing activist work, or giving away your expertise for free. So we think you deserve some support and inspiration to keep doing what you do [00:07:45] Shelley: we're, we're sharing what we love in the books that we read. I know love and light are your words for the year, your phrase for the year, Rowena. Um, so we share what we love in the hope that that gives you Both practical tips and the energy to do the work that you were sent here to do with lots more joy. [00:08:08] Rowena: Yes! We love that. Energy, joy, love, they're all great words, aren't they? So, this new approach means we'll be focusing on one book per episode in line with our Read More in 24 challenge. So by the way, if you haven't already, go and download our checklist, slash reading Inspiration Finder, at signup. twobookedup, that's T W O, bookedup. com. So, Shelley, let's dive into our top takeaways from Tranquility by Tuesday. Can you share what your top takeaway is from this book? [00:08:43] Shelley: Absolutely. So as we've mentioned, there's these nine rules. And also, I just want to say that she has gone and tested these rules with a group of women and, and men, I think, and she's got a whole bunch of data from them of how did they find this rule? What were the obstacles that came up? So it's a super practical and well researched in the real world kind of book. [00:09:04] Rowena: Yeah, I like that it's the real world bit, isn't it? It's the real world research, not done with a bunch of university lab students, which is often where the research comes from. [00:09:13] Shelley: Yes, yes. And she would email them each week and go, okay, what's, you know, what obstacles came up with this rule? Because, you know, we all read these kinds of books and then you suddenly go, no, that's impossible. I don't want to wake up at 5am. So I liked that it was, it had some Yeah. Yeah. Some honesty. And then she could also like help with those objections that could come up. So it was like a bit of a conversational tone to the whole thing. [00:09:36] Shelley's Favourite Rule: Give Yourself a Bedtime [00:09:36] Shelley: But yes, the rule that I want to highlight is give yourself a bedtime. So I'm sure if you've got kids. Your kids have a bedtime, right? But now do you, as the adult in the house, do you have a bedtime? And Laura encourages you to set a bedtime for yourself. Now, we don't have time to go into all the benefits of sleep, but there are many, and there's lots of books and literature on this, but good sleep makes us more productive in the long run. And She points out she's done a whole bunch of time and diary studies of these people in her study. And she's noticed that actually, if you just like, Go from a quantitative perspective and add up the time that people are sleeping. Most of us are actually getting enough time from a quantitative perspective, but many of us feel tired as we go about our daily lives. So, she asks, okay, well, why is this? If we're actually getting enough sleep, why are we feeling tired? And the answer is that we sleep too little on some nights, and then we have to crash and have an early night on others. So you then have two problems. You feel exhausted and you can't maintain good routines, you know, cause there's this unpredictability of life. Cause some days you're just so exhausted that you just have to crash at like six o'clock in the evening. So her solution here is getting the right amount of sleep every night consistently. So. Because most of us adults who are doing the adulting thing and doing the caring thing, we have a set time that we have to wake up each morning. So the only variable that you can move around is when you go to bed. And now for me, with homeschooling, I'm very glad to say that we can have Slower, less hurried mornings, but we still have to get going with the day. And my husband will often say to me, okay, come on, carpe diem, let's seize the day. Um, and the thing is my family is actually a family of larks. All very early risers, even though I do prefer to be a little bit more of a night owl and that's how I was before kids, but. Really, I kind of, I wake up, I wake up at about six o'clock and then I'm like, actually functional at about 6: 30am and I know that it seems to be that that's probably quite early, especially by American standards, by the people who Laura studied in the book. Um, I think you wake up earlier than that though, Ro. [00:12:12] Rowena: hmm. I do. Yes. But I do like a little bit of a sleep in and a sleep in for me could be, you know, 6. 45. It just depends on when I have to be up to get the kids out the door to school. [00:12:24] Shelley: But yeah, because I have to wake up quite early, um, it means that my bedtime is much earlier than a lot of the examples she gives. I was like, like shuddering to go 1130 bedtime, no way. Like, for me, I start winding down by 930, like at the latest. then I'm asleep by 10 I can't go much later than that without feeling tired the next morning. So that gives me about eight to eight and a half hours a night. So, if you go in with that sort of typical eight hour a night average, I'm there, there, or thereabouts maybe on the, on the higher side of things. And like. In a way, I've got to tell you, I'm not thrilled about that. Uh, as I said, I'm more of a night owl by preference, but right now in the season of my life, that doesn't work for me. You know, the, uh, the start of the day is kind of fixed. And I've realized if I don't get enough sleep, um, then I'm not happy. But if I do get enough sleep, I'm much happier. I'm a more productive person in the daytime. And even though I'm reluctant, I have to admit that. So I really do encourage you to give yourself a bedtime. In fact, I'm not even saying give yourself a bedtime. I'm going to say treat yourself to a bedtime. I think Laura says somewhere in the book, she says, going to bed early is the adult version of sleeping in. So treat yourself to a bedtime. All you need to do is figure out when you need to wake up. There's probably a constraint there and then figure out how many hours you need to sleep. Different people need different amounts of hours, but I'd say go with eight. Like we're on the higher side and then count backwards and then go that's closing time. That's the end of my day. So if that's 10 o'clock, if that's 11 o'clock, whatever it is, that's The end of my day and I need to start winding down before that. [00:14:19] Rowena: I think that's the key for me is the giving yourself a bedtime is the winding down before that It's not and then you go up to your bedroom at 10 o'clock It's you've started winding down and you're asleep by 10 so you actually get the eight hours. So my husband is a huge fan of this. He has a bedtime that only adjusts by maybe 15 minutes at most every night. So he goes to bed at pretty much the same time every night, regardless of what day of the week it is. Switches his light off at exactly the same time every night, which is very annoying when that was the only light on and I realised, oh, I was reading by his light and suddenly it's off. But he makes sure he gets his eight hours so he feels ready for the next day. Now, Shelley, you're a rebel and I'm an upholder and it might sound like my husband's an upholder, but we've talked about this before. He is a complete rebel, um, even though that habit sounds particularly upholder ish, but it's because He does this regardless of what I think or what else is happening. Um, so yeah, right. And it's also can be a little bit, awkward because we can have people over and he'll absent himself and go to bed. He'll just say, good night. I'm going to bed now. And he just walks upstairs. So that's where the rebel is like an upholder would probably not do that. An obliger definitely would not do that. But a rebel, he doesn't care. He's like, yeah, it's my bedtime. I'm out of here. Um, so quick side notes. If you're not sure what we're talking about, listen back to episodes one and four for our insights about Gretchen Rubin's four tendencies, because that is what we're talking about right here. So episodes one and one through four. So one, two, three, and four. Oh, anyway, so back to my husband, to be honest, it works. He's incredibly productive and it is sort of rubbing off on me. It does mean I've learned I need to read on an iPad or something that's backlit if I want to read past his bedtime. On that note, I am not as disciplined as my husband because reading another chapter is always just a little bit too tempting. [00:16:15] Shelley: That is super, super interesting. Just does show you that, this is possible no matter what your personality type is. And I think even if you are a night owl, I think I want to specify that you can still give yourself a bedtime. Even if that bedtime is a late bedtime. But there needs to be a closing time for your day. And then you might, you will probably sleep later. Laura's got a bunch of calculations in the book for like working out your optimal bedtime. But yes, it does remind me as well, like your, your resistance to turning out the light, that In Laura's studies, there was this resistance to bedtime from the people in her study, because it seemed like the only adult time that, that they were getting in a day. So they were like, Oh, I've just, you know, I've been serving, I've been working, I've been child caring, I've been parent caring, I've been doing all the things. And finally, I get some time to myself to do the things I choose and so then you kind of don't want to cut that short. And I've certainly felt that, and having a bedtime has actually challenged me to go, okay, well, if the day's closing, it's at half past nine, then I've only got two hours. You know, between half past seven and half past nine. So am I going to watch TV? Am I going to choose to work in that time? Am I going to read a book? It's, it's forced me to become more intentional about my evenings. And honestly, sometimes I do choose to watch TV, a TV show with Garren, but it's, it's never more than one show. So I do get this idea of like, Oh, this is, this is my time. But I think maybe to reframe that and go, okay, this is my time, but I've got this time. Let me really choose how to use it. Cause I think a lot of people will end up watching TV and then falling asleep in front of the TV. So then you're kind of in this half sleepiness, half wakefulness kind of way. And You know, now I've got a later bedtime. But what I love about my bedtime is that it gives a shape to my day. And it also gives that shape to my evening specifically. Because Laura points out that the start of the day is kind of non negotiable. But the end of the day can get more fuzzy for a lot of us, and it's like the shape dwindles into this blob of like, gloop and goo. Um, so for me, that deadline of bedtime is quite important. Otherwise, I do tend to overwork and go, Oh, I've got, I've got infinite amount of time. I've got 24 hours in this day and none of those involve sleep. I also just do want to pick up on something that you said about the wind down and that you read before bed, because that's part of your evening routine, that wind down routine. And I think if you are struggling to find, to adopt this habit of bedtime, then an evening routine is essential to support that commitment to bedtime. Yeah. Ro tell us a little bit more about your evening routine [00:19:15] Rowena: I love my evening routine. And it's probably one of the things, my morning routine and my evening routine are my bookends for my day. So, for me, my evening routine can include making a plan for the next day, and sometimes a to do list. It just includes wrapping up maybe smaller, non urgent tasks or things that will help you feel ready for tomorrow. At home, well, I know what I do. I make sure the kitchen counters are all clean and I make sure that the dishes are, have been washed. They're not sitting around. And I do really home makey things like go and check that the couches, all the cushions are fluffed and sitting up and looking nice so that when I come down in the morning, everything looks neat and tidy. So none of those are particularly urgent, but they make me feel good, and it means that the next day I feel like I've. It's welcoming, which is part of it, right? It sends a message to me that says your home is ready for you and you're ready to do work. But I also do this in my business and I've incorporated it into my end of work day routine. The idea that Greg McKeon talks about in Essentialism, which is to write down my top three priorities for the next day. And that way, when I sit at my desk the next morning, I can immediately move into action. So that is actually part of my kind of evening routine because I often do that after I've made dinner and we've had dinner as a family. I might duck into my office quickly and I'll have had time to percolate and then I'll quickly write down what those three priorities are for the next day. But the evening bit for bedtime is also because it sends you a cue. So it sends a little message to your brain and your body that it's, we're moving out of work mode or out of sitting on the couch mode and we're moving into getting ready for bed mode. Like maybe part of your evening routine is you go and wash your face or brush your teeth before you, jump into bed. [00:20:57] Shelley: Oh yes, for me, I have to have a bath before I go to bed, and put some nice essential oils in, and I think that is that signal to me that it's now time for bed. And I also like to make sure I've read a few pages, at least, of a book before I go to bed as well. So it's like those cues that are like calming me into bedtime, and I find if I don't have my bath, then I can't go to sleep. So maybe look at things, if you're battling to go to sleep, look at things that you can add to your evening routine that like, calm you down and signal to your body that you are now going to sleep. By the way, we've done some episodes on Essentialism. Those are episodes 11 to 14. And I like how taking charge, you're using your evening to support in the morning. And I think then You can kind of go to bed knowing that tomorrow is another day and I'm not like losing out. I'm actually doing something now that's gonna make my life easier later, a Kendra Adachi Lazy Genius question as well, another book we've done before. I think that's before the Essentialism episodes and I think you're then taking back control of that and going, I say when I'm, I'm going to go to bed and I'm also setting myself up so that I can really crank it in the morning, then I think it makes going to bed an easy, easier transition. So yeah, there we go. I hope we've convinced you of the benefits of giving yourself a bedtime and also the many books that really supports this idea. And I'll just add that if you can commit to a bedtime and give that shape to your evening, there's another rule that Laura covers in Tranquility by Tuesday that you might want to try out. And that is to take one evening a week for yourself. To do something other than work, other than caring for others, uh, because if you feel like you can get some of that me time in the week and it's like planned, like Wednesday evenings for me, then I think you won't feel so short changed about going to bed at the same time each night. So I think these rules kind of support each other, but that's just another rule that I want to highlight. We're not going to get into that one now because I know that Rowena You have another rule that's made a big impression on you. And I want to move on to that one. Tell us about the rule that is your favorite. [00:23:17] Rowena's Favourite Rule: One big adventure, one little adventure [00:23:17] Rowena: Okay. Cause yes, I read this and lots of little, what'd you call them? Maybe fireworks went off in my head when I read this one. So it's one big adventure, one little adventure. So it's rule six in the book. So this basically, let me give you a summation of what Laura kind of points out, and I think this might resonate for many of our listeners. So Laura points out that adult life can become kind of monotonous and repetitive, where every day follows a similar pattern. So having a routine, yep, we love routines and that can be super beneficial and it makes doing our good habits automatic. Having too much of a routine means time kind of just slips away and you don't really notice, which can unfortunately make us feel like months or even years have gone by and we didn't really realize it, which is honestly not very good. So my family actually felt like this during the COVID lockdowns, at least initially. Um, cause those early days where we were a bit adrift, we didn't really know what was happening. We got into a bit of a habit, I mean a routine and then it just, there was no variety and the days started to move into one another and we couldn't really tell whether it was Tuesday or whether it was a Friday. Like it really was all a bit same, same. And it was not fun. Like it was really not great for, mental health or wellbeing or anything else. So back to the book, Laura suggests that in this rule, we aim to do two things out of the ordinary each week. So memorable things, specifically a big adventure and a little adventure. And now a big adventure could take, she suggests maybe three to four hours or perhaps a half a weekend day and a little adventure could be less than an hour. Potentially doable, maybe on a lunch break or a weekday evening, as long as it's memorable. Which ties back into that other rule you just mentioned, Shelley, which is, you know, take one evening for yourself. It actually flows beautifully into this, because if you're taking one evening for yourself, you could make that evening, the evening you do your little adventure each week. And then you're kind of winning, and you're ticking two boxes. So the idea is that life becomes more interesting when we have some variety. Now I think many of us can relate to this idea when we think about our holidays or our vacations. When we're on holiday or away from doing things differently, time feels more expansive because you're experiencing new places, new foods, and you're doing new things. [00:25:47] Shelley: Yes, there is that like holiday time warp, there's this feeling that time slows down when we're experiencing new things, because you've got like so many markers and points to pull your memories from, you know, and it's a weird one, because there is that aspect of time flies when you're having fun. Um, but I think it's that you're actually living and you're like, Oh my goodness, this is, it's, time has flown, but yet there's so many things and we've just actually been on holiday and I'd definitely say this is true for me. When I tell people what we did in seven days, it feels like we fit so much in and there were just so many memories made. And yeah, I think, I think this rule for me, when I first looked at it, I thought of, oh, she's talking about going on holidays and planning holidays, but no, she's actually trying to bring in, that holiday feeling. into your regular week. And like intentionally having this expansion of time into our regular life. And yeah, that's, I love, I love this rule. And as you said, like three to four hours for your big adventure. It's not impossible to do and to, and to plan. [00:26:54] Rowena: Exactly, and I appreciate that with teenage boys, it's tricky to get them to come along, but I did manage to. So recently on one Sunday, I took my 13 year old to the local maritime museum and I hadn't visited for more than 10 years. But he'd been more recently and was desperate to show me what he loved about it. So I went along with him pretending to be my tour guide and I did a lot of new to me things like climbing a lighthouse and exploring the submarine. So it was a perfect big adventure because we were there about the right amount of time, but it was really memorable. And as a bonus, I got to have some quality one on one time with my youngest child, which was great. It was just the two of us. [00:27:34] Shelley: That's really nice. And I I do like that it was just with one of your children, you know, cause I think sometimes we're like, Oh, now we need to get the whole family involved or we need to get extended family. You can keep it really simple. It could be just you and it could be you and one other person. So yeah, I think with planning these adventures, that simplicity is quite key. [00:27:53] Rowena: Yeah, I agree. And look, for us it worked because my older son and my husband were at the older son's sport. And so no one really missed out. Otherwise my youngest child and I would have just been hanging around at home and my older boy didn't want to go anyway. So it was actually making the most of our time. So when they got back from their sport, we then got to have quality time as a family in the afternoon, but we'd done something fun that morning. So along the lines of something fun, we'd had a smaller adventure, maybe a week or so earlier, and it was a regular Friday. Now the boys didn't have school, but it was a normal Friday. It wasn't anything special. We woke up very early, I think we woke up a bit before 5am, and we drove and headed across to a beach that we'd not visited before, so it was brand new for us, and we went for a sunrise swim. So as the sun was coming out above the horizon and we saw it kind of emerging from the ocean, we were in the water having a swim, which was pretty amazing and very special. And then we headed home afterwards for breakfast. So it was maybe a smidgen longer than an hour, but it still felt like a small adventure, because we were still home in time for breakfast. And it made that regular Friday so much more memorable. We've talked about it a number of times since then, which otherwise it would have just been yet another day. So, I like the fact that even if I don't quite get round to doing perhaps a big and a small adventure every week, because that's a little ambitious for me right now in the season of life that I'm in, with children and extracurricular commitments and everything else, um, I would love to be able to do it once a month, because the key for me is that it gives me something to look forward to, which is really important, and that's actually important for everybody. We all need things to look forward to. It also stretches me out of my comfort zone, which I'm a big fan of, because that's how we learn and we grow, and we also build confidence and resilience. And of course, it makes me feel good and it's fun, which are pretty important, especially when I'm hanging out with my kids. So it ticks so many boxes, this one big adventure, one small adventure, to make time feel more meaningful. [00:29:57] Shelley: I must say I do really love this rule. I've gotta say with homeschooling and, yeah, just also to your point with all the extracurricular activities, I know like you have concerts and you like, you have like things that the kids are working towards. So those could actually be framed as adventures, that, uh, like mark the week. A lot of people will probably be having these adventurous things in their calendars already. And I think you can just name it as, oh, that's my big adventure for the week. That's, that's my little adventure for the week. Because when I looked at this with homeschooling, I've got quite a lot of opportunity to apply this rule. But what I really do like is that it just puts some intentionality to plan those big and little adventures, every week and acknowledge them as adventures, as I was saying. A recent big adventure, if I'm thinking of examples, we went rollerblading with a friend for, like, for the morning. So that was that sort of three to, three to four hours stint. The boys just loved rollerblading and would have kept on going, for even longer than four hours. And then, we will often on the weekends go bike riding. So, we've got a place that's about 40 minutes from our house. that's like also that half a weekend day. And yes, like I think our weekly meetups creates a lot of opportunity for little adventures. What we've been doing with one of the groups that we, that we meet with is we read a beautiful new picture book together. And that to me, I'm like, I can frame that as a little adventure 'cause it's discovering, a quite a special book often that they, ones I've imported from the US and, and it adds adventure it adds colour and punctuation to the, to the week. Another little adventure this week, which happened yesterday, uh, doesn't feel very little because it's been met with such excitement and anticipation, Rowena, is that my kids started drum lessons for the one child, and piano and singing lessons for the other. And they have literally been crossing off the days until they start their lessons. Also, like it was even an adventure for me to go into a music studio. I've recorded in a music studio before and it was just like lovely to go there and just check out all the equipment and yes, it felt like it punctuated the week, like this week was the week we started drum lessons. Um, so I think that's, that's the way you can take this, this rule. [00:32:18] Rowena: Yep, I love that because you're absolutely right, doing the new things and even things that you've already built into your schedule can be just reframed to be this small adventure or big adventure. And I love that your, these, I assume your lessons will be ongoing for your kids and they will then become a regular feature. But the first time you do it, it's still got that novelty experience, which [00:32:41] Shelley: and I think that's the important part of this is bringing that novelty into your life so that it doesn't feel like same old, same old [00:32:47] Rowena: Yeah. So it's novelty with intention, which is kind of funny, right? Like it's an intentional novelty, but it's kind of like the intentional pursuit of fun, which sounds like it's counterintuitive, but actually, fortunately for us, human brains can be quite easily tricked and you can manufacture the sense of fun with some intentionality. So Shelley, this is such a great segue. Whilst we're on the topic of adventures, what's your choose your own adventure action for this episode? [00:33:17] Shelley: so my Choose Your Own Adventure listeners, I've got four options for you. This is your own adventure. And I want to make them also bite sized and small. So are you going to give yourself a bedtime? (I feel like a quiz master). Are you going to book out one evening for yourself or you can add a big adventure to your next week or you can add a little adventure to your weekly plan? So there you go, four. You can, you can pick two or more, but go ahead and choose at least one of those, for your adventure in the next week. And now we also would love to share what fiction we're reading at the moment, so I'm going to throw to Rowena, what are you reading at the moment? [00:34:02] Rowena: I have just finished Wayward by Amelia Hart. [00:34:06] Shelley: And another fiction read If you're looking to take an evening for yourself and do some reading, don't forget that Rowena's novel, Avoiding the Friend Zone, is on Amazon and all online book sellers. But now that's All we have time for today. I hope we have sent you on your way, inspired and feeling like you can find tranquility in the turmoil and in the chaos that is our daily life. But we'd love to continue the conversation about this. So you can connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm Shelley Tonkin Smith, and you can learn more about my copywriting business at shelleysmithcreative.com. Where can listeners find you, Rowena? [00:34:43] Rowena: You can find me at Rowena Mabbott on Instagram and visit RowenaMabbott. com for everything about my coaching services and my books. [00:34:52] Shelley: And of course, remember to visit twobookedup.com for show notes and to download the 24 for 2024 reading challenge PDF, that's totally free. I'm Shelley Tonkin Smith, wishing you much tranquility this very Tuesday. [00:35:07] Rowena: And I'm Rowena Mabbott. We'll see you in two weeks time for another episode of Two Booked Up.

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